In the News...

Can you believe it's been eleven years since OJ Simpson was arrested for the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman? Well, after searching just about every golf course in America for the "real killers," OJ has decided he needs more attention.

OJ's new book, "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," has created a political firestorm. The publisher, Judith Regan, defends her position saying that this is as close to a confession as we'll ever get. The families of the victims are outraged. While OJ was acquitted by a jury filled with idiots and racists, he was held civilly liable and a judgment of $33.5 million was awarded to the victims' families. OJ quickly hid his assets, exiled himself to Florida where he is protected from the judgment and receives his NFL pension for what he still does best, running.

Update, 11/21/2006: News Corp, owner of Fox News and the publisher HarperCollins, has canceled the OJ interview broadcast as well as the book. Chairman Rupert Murdock said, "I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project. We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson." We at TLG want to thank the American public for showing their outrage that put OJ back under his rock.

What is even stranger is that Regan Publishing is owned by the same company that owns Fox News. Fox is scheduled to broadcast an interview between Regan and Simpson. Regan can't understand the criticism being leveled against her. She reasons that other major reporters interview murderers and dictators, so she should be able to interview OJ. Let TLG clear up the confusion for her. The outrage is due to the fact that Simpson is now going to make money from the murders by telling his self-serving side of the story.

While OJ could actually come out and admit what we all know is true and tell us exactly how he did it, there would be no legal consequences. There is no double jeopardy is this country. He already was convicted in the civil suit. By the way, Regan says that OJ never does actually admit that he did it.

So, what is a lying murderer going to tell us that we don't already know? Which knife he used? Where he disposed of his bloody clothing? How he cut himself while slitting their throats? How the glove actually did fit? The interview, the book and the sponsors will be boycotted.

TLG

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